Weak! Scenes from the Trump Inauguration

Alarmed as DisruptJ20 protesters linked arms to form rows in front of me, I rushed directly at them. Had I known at the time that these would be the some folks who would battle police wielding tear gas and pepper spray, maybe I would have hesitated. Thankfully, I had the element of surprise on my side. Their plan was to block people from getting in, not one straggler from getting out. In the ensuing melee, I found a weak link in the human chain and forced my way past, Red Rover style.

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Photo: The DisruptJ20 protestors cause a stir at the Red Gate

I took this picture once I reached the road. Only when I examined it later did I realize very few of the protestors could be seen. The rest are completely enveloped and outnumbered by spectators – cameras in hand.

The DisruptJ20 protestors caused more of an inconvenience than an actual disruption, at least at the Red Gate. Anyone who wanted to get through could, and would, by walking over a grassy area to the left, readily bypassing the protest. I could never figure out if this was poor planning or an intentional ruse to avoid giving the police an excuse to arrest them.

Continuing further down the road, I stumbled upon the Black Lives Matter protestors tucked away in an alcove. They picked what could only be described as the absolute worst vantage point to stage a protest. Or, more likely, they were assigned this position when they applied for a permit. They occupied a fenced in area on John Marshall Park, sandwiched between the Canadian embassy and the US District Court building. Just south lied the prime real estate of Pennsylvania Avenue but a huge white tent blocked their view. Boxed in on 3 sides, they had only one direction to protest: north toward empty space, a row of police, and scattered onlookers perched on the cascading stairs above.

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Photo: Black Lives Matter protestors chant a fair distance away from everyone

Pondering this sad state of affairs, I returned to the road only to happen upon Donald Trump, the soon-to-be president of the United States. I could hardly believe it. For a fleeting moment I thought maybe I shouldn’t believe it, but no. It had to be him. The Donald walked arm-in-arm with none other than Vladimir Putin. That settled it.

I’ll have you know, Donald Trump was very gracious. He and Vladimir posed for pictures, answered questions, and spoke of their secret yet undying devotion to one another. It was very sweet. They made a cute couple. No matter what you may think of someone’s politics, we all deserve happiness in this crazy world and I, for one, could not have been more thrilled that these two had finally found their soulmates.

Turns out, it wasn’t actually Donald Trump. No, I know. I was as surprised as you must be. Thinking back, I suppose the wedding dress Donald wore should have tipped me off. White? Of course his wedding dress wouldn’t have been white. Gold, sure. But never white.

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Photo: Vladimir Putin and Donald Trump before the inauguration. Trump wears a white wedding dress with a sign that reads “I wish I could quit you, Vlad.”

Oh, well. My bad.

Next post: Pathetic! Scenes from the Trump Inauguration

 

To read the series from the beginning, go to Blog posts

About me: I am a Maryland-based physician that writes under the pen name David Z Hirsch. Check out my YouTube channel for videos on common medical conditions

and my best-selling novel, Didn’t Get Frazzled, an entertaining and provocative story about life and love in medical school.

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